Defending Joseph Campbell

A friend of mine asked me to explain to him why Joseph Campbell is my guru. It was an interesting conversation. My friend has never read Campbell, but he has heard me describe the impact that Campbell’s work has had on my life. My friend was thinking along the lines of self-help authors like Stephen Covey.

I explained that Joseph Campbell wasn’t really setting out to help anyone that way. He was merely a scholar, a man who devoted his life to researching the things that pleased him most to think about. This is what I admire best about Joseph Campbell. That it turns out that he and I found joy in the same topics is just a blessing beyond measure. He is definitely a kindred spirit.

What I ultimately shared with my friend was the story of my life at the time I discovered Campbell’s work. I was very much a church going Bible believer of the most literal sort and I had no real grasp of the concept of metaphor. Sometimes I think it is difficult for any devout Christian to truly grasp and appreciate metaphor.

I was introduced to Joseph Campbell in a college literature course about the Grail Legends. Joseph Campbell is an authority on the Arthurian legends, something I have loved almost my entire life.

It was in listening to Joseph Campbell lectures that I discovered that essentially everything is metaphor. All we have are symbols and stories to give meaning to our existence. Everything, even our lives, is metaphor for the fundamental truths of the universe. We are merely reflections of something much greater than ourselves. I believe that we each incarnate to create a mythology out of the life we have been given. And the great thing about this mythology we create is that we get to be the hero in the story. We don’t have to be the victim in our own life story. We are the ones writing it.

What Joseph Campbell did for me was give me another way of looking at God. It was not long after studying his work that I quit thinking about God as an entity separate from myself. And I will tell you this, that one discovery has brought more joy into my life that any other thing I have figured out.

So, while I understand my friend’s skepticism if he was equating Joseph Campbell with Stephen Covey, in my mind the two are incomparable. Stephen Covey offers people helpful hints to be a more financially successful person, Joseph Campbell offers people the keys that unlock the mysteries of the universe.

It is my opinion that you can’t read Joseph Campbell’s work without becoming a little smarter.

Crossroads

It is interesting having options. I prefer it to not, but making life decisions can be stressful, especially when you feel you’ve made poor ones in the past.

I find myself at a crossroads in more than one area of life right now. There is nothing bad happening; it’s all very positive, all about choices, but I find myself terrified at the thought of making decisions that will disturb the status quo too much. I’ve been through so much the past couple years and things are finally starting to settle down. Do I want to stay settled and risk getting in a rut or do I want to stir things up a little and see what I can make of it?

Recently I have been finding a lot more joy in life. When a certain amount of stress is missing, it makes it a lot easier to appreciate things and be present and not preoccupied. I appreciate that so much. I believe it is out of this sense of joy that some of the options before me have manifested.

That is a very important thing to remember in a situation like the one in which I currently find myself. Nothing that shows up in my life does so apart from my intention to have certain experiences. There is nothing I can experience that I am not open to experiencing. If I were not open, situations would not present themselves. Everything that is going on in my life right now is the result of the thoughts I have been thinking up to now. It’s not all pretty, I’d be lying if I said it was. But some really beautiful people and situations have come into my life and sometimes when I think about what and who I am attracting, it makes me really happy to know that the universe is responding to what I am offering. It’s truly humbling.

I have to make a career decision within the next 24 hours. And there are other, more personal decisions to make right now too. The personal stuff is not pressing, so for the moment, I deal with the issue before me.

It boils down to a cost/benefit analysis. What’s more important, money or happiness? On the grand scale that question is very easy to answer. But on the small-scale, the distinction is a much finer one.

This is one of those situations that is too big for me to figure out on my own. I need to pray and then clear my mind of the thought of it. Once I give the question over, the answer will come.

The more I live, the more I figure out that thinking is such a flawed way of problem solving much of the time. The ability to reason is flawed in the best of analytical thinkers. I’ve reasoned my way through many issues. I’ve been formally trained in logic and analysis. But the answers to the truly important questions always come in the silence. When I get out of the way, things tend to work out just fine.

I put myself in the hands of God. And I have faith that I will find beauty on my journey regardless of which path I take.

Amen.

A breath of fresh air

“As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people the permission to do the same.” ~Nelson Mandela

 

Today, in anticipation of Spring, I bought a pretty pink skirt. It’s lovely and has a subtle floral print. It makes me happy just looking at it.

Why this got me thinking about Facebook and other social media, I am not sure, but I realized that when we share the small, joyous moments of our lives with our friends and family, it makes everyone’s life a little nicer and lightens the burdens of all involved. It’s like a breath of fresh air. And I believe it is possible to do it without bragging, I’ve seen it. There are some lovely people on my Facebook friends list and on Twitter who make my life nicer just knowing they are out there.

My whole goal with Facebook and especially Twitter is to share my joy with the world. I do it because I have been blessed with a particular way of looking at the world, and the ability to write fairly well. And fairly concisely as it turns out, though I am certain my blog posts beg to differ. My point is, I have come to a place in my life where I fully understand that both my broad-minded perspective and my writing skills are gifts and the best way I can honor those gifts is to share them.

By choosing to be a leader in this way, by giving yourself permission to be authentic, to be vulnerable, to share your open heart, and to love freely and unconditionally, you literally invite others to do likewise. If you cultivate good qualities in yourself through prayer, meditation, and spiritual discipline, you can share those with others through the way you treat them. They will see a glimpse of their own holiness in you and their lives will be made better. It gives people hope to see someone earnest on their spiritual path. Mine may not be the prettiest display of spiritual work, but nobody would ever accuse me of not trying, that much I know. And if it helps anyone to look at my example and know that we’re all just doing the best we can, then what I’m doing is worthwhile.

The small number of people whose lives I have touched have made every risk I take in sharing myself through writing totally worth it.

I love seeing the light shine on Facebook and Twitter. More and more I see people posting positive, uplifting messages to share with the people they love.

If you go around loving and accepting people, just as they are, you know what you get? A lot of happy people who feel safe around you. It’s beautiful.

Kinda like a pretty, pink skirt and the promise of Spring.

Spacious love

My two favorite topics: Spirituality and Romance. They are the things I think about most.

Lately I feel it necessary to ask myself a lot of questions about exactly what it is I am looking for in a relationship.

I’ve been alone for a couple of years now. The longest I have ever been without a partner. In the big picture, it’s not a great length of time, but there are days when it feels like eons since I have connected with a person on that level. I miss it, I admit it.

Relationships can be deeply spiritual in that they invite us to practice our most dearly held beliefs and discover the limits of our ability to forgive and love unconditionally. A part of me is ready to go there again, but I want to get caught up in something light and lovely, not something reckless and potentially destructive. Ya know?

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” ~Joan Crawford

I’ve had my metaphoric house burned down from love, I’m not interested in going there again. The next romantic situation I get into will be much easier because I have learned a lot about expectation and disappointment in the past couple of years. Having expectations of others is not fair to them. And it virtually ensures disappointment.

The term friends with benefits has always bugged me, but rationally speaking, that is what a healthy relationship is about. The person I have a romantic relationship with needs to be none other than my best friend in the universe. That is so much more important than the statistical details most people are looking for in a partner (height, weight, income, etc.).

I have wondered if what I’m looking for even exists. The great thing about living in Portland is, if it does exist, I will find it here. People here are open-minded, freely expressive and highly creative. It’s a magical place to live. I love it here. So, my wish is that I find him here. And that he have a cute beard.

Right now I would like to meet someone it feels good to be around and have someone to do things with. Someone to hold hands with and kiss and be silly with. I do not want to get married or even live with anyone just yet, I would like us each to have our own space and go there regularly and see other friends and spend time alone. But I would also like to have this person around some of the time to hang out , eat meals together and go to movies or the zoo, things like that. Someone to go to Powell’s Books with. And maybe spend the night with a few times a week. Is it possible to find such a relationship and for two people to be happy in it without needing to push it forward or involve other people? I’m not looking for something polyamorous, just something spacious.

One of my favorite books is True Love by Thich Nhat Hanh. In it he has a section about the loving gesture of giving people enough space. The concept is called upeksha, meaning equanimity or freedom. Here’s what he has to say about it:

“In true love you attain freedom. When you love you bring freedom to the person you love. If the opposite is true, it is not true love. You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free, not only outside, but inside. ‘Dear one, do you have enough space in your heart and all around you?’ This is an intelligent question for testing out whether your love is something real.”

Some day I may want to live with someone or be married again, but I would like it to take a slower pace than my previous relationships. There’s no reason for hurry. Slowness allows more awareness and mindfulness. Friendships can really blossom over time.

I’m looking for that person it feels effortless to be around. The one I can breathe with–content to spend time together in total silence, just being near each other and understanding what that really means.

There is a little something in my heart these days that tells me not only is what I am looking for possible, I am very close to finding it. It’s a sensation that is hard to put my finger on, but there is definitely something in the air these days. It feels like something in this area is about to shift.

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

“It is the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”

~Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)

I’m ready.

 

 

Seek His Face

It’s amazing the insights that come after a challenging day.  I’m exhausted.  I had to deal with some stuff today, but everything ended up fine and all is well.

In these last few quiet moments before I go to sleep, I am thinking about spiritual awakening and how it is a really interesting process in which a person sees what was right in front of them all along.  I think God really wants to be seen by us.  He/She/It leaves clues everywhere.  Every moment of every day.  It’s like when someone is trying to point something out to you and you just can’t see it and then when you do, you wonder how you missed it.  It’s like getting new glasses and realizing how poor your vision was.

I’m so grateful to get to start over new every day.  To know you’ve done your best at the end of the day is a gift.  To get a do over every morning is a blessing beyond words.

The world is a beautiful place.

Hopeful

I hope people understand why I write the way I do.  Having never been told otherwise, writing a blog feels like having a conversation with the whole world.  Most of my writing comes from that place inside that wants to let people know that I understand and I feel compassion for us all.  That’s the biggest reason I share things that to me feel very personal.

Things have been happening that are not comfortable.  But I realized today that I am facing my fears head on and once I work through this period of my life, I’m going to emerge a lighter, happier person.  The one thing I will say about experiencing misfortune is that once you let go of the things that you thought were stable and necessary, including belief systems, life becomes very simple, very quickly.  And for myself I can say that most of the time I feel peaceful.  I share some of my angst here, but I am largely calm and happy.

The way I stay peaceful is by daily reflecting on the blessings in my life.  There is so much good and so much beauty around for people who are able to stay present.  I would like to see mindfulness taught to school children.  The world would be a much better place.

I like to make lists.  But for some reason during times of stress, I forget to do it.  I decided tonight that I am going to make a list of the things I like best about myself and at least one other person.  There have been some really wonderful people in my life.  And even though things feel a little lonely at times, I know these people are a phone call away and there are a lot of them.  I need to remember that when I start feeling isolated.

I wish for all people to be gentle and compassionate toward themselves.  Start there and it will radiate outward.

I’m feeling hopeful tonight.

Dirty spirituality

Writing is therapeutic.  Most people who feel compelled to write understand this.  Sharing one’s writing with the world is another matter entirely.  That is why I am challenging myself to post at least two blogs, of any length, each week.

Overall, this blog is meant to be about spirituality and I beleive it is.  However, my approach is less in-your-face advice and instruction as it is observations gleaned from my life and the lives of others.  And it will include both things that uplift and inspire me and things that annoy and peeve me. It is my hope that others with good intentions and lots of questions will benefit from the ways in which I grapple with spiritual stuff.  So with that, here we go:

I’m a happy girl.  Anyone who knows me well enough to actually get me knows this.  Those who know me well also know that I am intimately acquainted with my dark side.  In my case, the light always wins, but the darkness demands its day in court.  Rightfully so in my opinion.

Something I have noticed lo these many weeks of using Twitter is that many of the people I consider positive or spiritual tweeters never post anything personal or neutral, let alone negative.  There is a part of me that agrees with this because I believe it is in my best interest to spend as much time thinking positively as I can.  However, for me, darkness needs to be acknowledged before it can be released.

The question might be: Must I acknowledge my darkness publicly?  One could argue that if I want people to pay attention to the positive message I wish to promote, that I need to push only that message.  That’s the thing, I feel like I’m doing that.  We all walk a unique spiritual path and mine includes revealing how very real and human a person can be at the same time as being spiritual and wildly idealistic from the world’s perspective.

Sometimes I feel like I see a bigger picture than many people.  Of course the people I encounter most frequently are normal people getting through the day-to-day grind of living on this planet at this time in history.  Although I comfort myself frequently with their books, I don’t hang out with people like Wayne Dyer and Louise Hay.  Not that I wouldn’t, it would be a privilege to call either of them a personal friend.  My point is, I live in the world of people who struggle.  And for me, struggle is the process of reconciling the darkness with the light I know deep down is there.

That is not to suggest that people who succeed in the world of self-help and spirituality do not struggle.  Everyone has moments when things don’t make sense and it is necessary to dig deep to find the knowing place.  I am suggesting that it might not be as much work to get to that place if some of the basics like financial security and stability are present.

That said, I don’t think people with few resources and little stability need to worry.  Worry helps nothing, ever.  All it does is add fear to whatever one is already dealing with.  However, opportunities to worry do seem to present themselves more frequently to people who are faced with things like job loss, health concerns and financial challenges.  And I am here to acknowledge that it takes self-discipline to stay positive in the face of these things.

I believe every struggle is a spiritual struggle.  I also think people are encouraged when they find out they are not alone when they are teetering at the edge of the pit of despair.

This is why I write about the days when I feel less than motivated spiritually or when I discover some way that I have been undermining my own success.  I write to bring awareness to the things that threaten to trip me up on my spiritual path, to encourage my fellow humans and to call out my demons.  Experience has taught me that demons respond to being called by name.

Today’s issue is a form of self-imposed martyrdom from which I am trying to break free.  If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to stop being so hard on myself…well, let’s just say I would be very excited to have that money.

Recently this martyrdom scenario played out with me being annoyed at a friend for criticizing me constantly.  I’ll be honest, this person drives me nuts sometimes.  He regularly points out things about me…for my own good.  But it doesn’t feel like it’s for my good, it feels like it’s for the satisfaction of his ego.  I don’t think I’m wrong about that, but recently, in the middle of writing a long e-mail rant telling said friend how much his behavior bothers me, the inner voice chimed in.

It actually happened in the form of an argument with myself in my head that went something like this:

Me: I get so tired of being criticized by the people who call themselves my friends.  I have been having this experience over and over my entire life.  Why do I keep attracting people who are so critical?  And why do I seem to attract people who are critical of others (me) while largely remaining silent about their own shortcomings?

Inner voice: Why should you expect to attract anything other than people who criticize when you criticize yourself so mercilessly? Remember, people are mirrors.

And that is the thing with the inner voice of wisdom.  Whenever I start to really whine, it can shut me up with a sentence or two. The inner voice is great, but it does tend to ruin a carefully planned pity party.

So, I abandoned the e-mail rant and decided to deal with my issue.  Now I am examining how I set people up to criticize me and asking myself what I’m getting from this.  I’ll get back to you when I have figured it out.

I feel like I need to jump to the ultimate point of this post.  Our experiences in life are a direct reflection of how we think about ourselves.  I feel criticized because I am self-critical.  This is why I believe it’s important to gain mastery over the mind.

Another example of this self-fulfilling prophetic thinking is how I spent a good deal of my life thinking of myself as a person who struggles and overcomes obstacles, which actually doesn’t sound bad on the surface.  In fact, I have overcome many obstacles and achieved more than I might have if I hadn’t held that thought.  However, as I mature spiritually, I realize that continuing to think of myself that way is only going to bring more struggle and obstacles to overcome.

These realizations about struggle, difficulties and critical people are the reason I am working with affirmations…and writing this blog.  If I tell others that they are beautiful, perfect, glorious beings while thinking differently of myself, how can I expect anyone to believe me?  One of my main goals is to help people see their beauty and experience love and self-forgiveness.  It seems important to include myself in the process.

I often say that I never meet people who need help seeing their flaws, but I have met many who need help seeing their beauty.  That also applies to me.  So if people really want to help me, saying something uplifting and positive would be a great way to do that.  Or even just stop criticizing.  I’m trying to stop beating myself up, I’m not looking for someone to do it for me.

Spirituality, like childbirth, is a messy process, but worth the effort.  We should help each other give birth to the best that is in each one of us.

Cheryl

As above, so below

 

This feels like a blog I can post if I can just stay with it long enough to get this thought out of my head and onto this page.

Starting a new blog is work.  Being obsessive about one’s writing makes it even more work.  Admittedly, I also have some personal characteristics that make focusing a challenge at times.  Still, I want this blog to be a positive experience, so I feel like I need to be a bit more specific about its purpose.

I want my writing to be based in spirituality and be about how to make the world healthier, happier and more kind.  What I’m finding is that I like writing about mundane details of day-to-day living.  But as I realized just this morning, therein lies my spirituality.  My whole existence is based on desire and intent to be fully present and have as much control over my mind as possible so, to the best of my ability, I will be able to bring only good to my experiences.  And what I have figured out so far is, it is not always clear on the surface how to do that.

How do we bring only good to life?  If it is even possible, is it too lofty a goal for a regular person just wishing to live a peaceful existence?  Questions like these make my life seem like some sort of cosmic social scientific experiment.

Which brings me to my blog’s purpose, as I understand it today.  This blog needs to be about seeing the spiritual big picture in the most mundane moments of life.  Because it’s always there.  To see it is a skill that develops with practice and is the source of the ability to think positively…or faith as it is also called.  While there is always opportunity for improvement, I see continuous progress in my life and I often feel a strong, spiritual force with me that helps me see things from many perspectives.

The idea to make this blog about the spiritual questions I encounter daily arises from some things that are happening in my world that make me have to think through, refine and clarify my beliefs.  Not in a dark, heavy way, but more of a quick run through my spiritual filter to check for inconsistencies.  I will write about those as they come up, so there should never be a shortage of topics.

I believe life is a series of questions for each of us to answer, with the composite of those answers being the foundation of our individual belief systems.  The questions do not always seem big on the surface, but that is one of the ways we are deceived by appearances.  Because things as small as asking yourself why it matters what kinds of household cleansers to use can seem unimportant, but when a billion people fail to ask that question, the earth suffers.

Peace and balance are what I seek for myself.  Remaining open to as many ways of seeing things as possible and staying ever present and aware are the tools I use to maintain equanimity.

I look forward to sharing my thoughts as life sends me the questions.

Cheryl

“Life is a mathematical equation…work it out on paper…keep a journal.” ~Me

Spiritual malaise

I’m just going to put this out there because I cannot imagine that I am the only person this applies to.

I have been feeling spiritually lazy the past few days.  I’m grateful that I am aware enough to know what’s happening when it happens, but it’s not comfortable.

My demons await me in matters of self-discipline.  That is not to say I am undisciplined.  I have a stronger will and determination than just about anyone I know. It’s just that as with physical exercise, sometimes it feels good to take a breather once in a while and not be rigid about things like meditation, reading and studying things of a spiritual nature.

I think it is a response to striving.  Sometimes I catch myself striving spiritually.  I require myself to read constantly on spiritual and metaphysical topics.  It’s not that I don’t love these books, I do, it’s just I could ease up on myself a little and likely what I would find is that I will read the books anyway because I love them, not because my inner task master is threatening me with words like loser and slacker.  I get that this is a heavy burden for a lot of people.  We all have that inner critic that up to a point is helpful and motivates us to do good.  But when that turns into emotional blackmail, it’s time to take a break, for the good of everyone.

So lately I’ve been feeling really grumpy at the world.  I know the way to remedy that is to really think about people and how similar we all are in the most fundamental ways.  And know that my fellow travelers are all doing the best they can with what they have to work with.  I also know that meditation is the surest way back to a comfortable perspective that is focused on joy.

A lot of this thinking about malaise happened when I was out driving today.  Driving is the biggest challenge to my ability to practice my beliefs, I admit it. I caught myself thinking grumpy thoughts at the other drivers and I stopped and tried to redirect my thinking, but instead of calming down and thinking more compassionately, I had a little tantrum.  I even heard myself whining in my head.  It was not attractive.  I didn’t want to think nice things about people, I felt tired of watching my every thought and word–it’s a lot of work!

And then I remember that the reason I do these things is not because I enjoy being disciplined, but because I like to feel good.  I like to feel at peace, relaxed and happy.  And I cannot do that while considering anyone an enemy.  So I must find the inspiration to move from where I’m at to the place I prefer to be–a place of unconditional love and compassion for my fellow human beings.

This is how my current spiritual path actually developed.  I was in despair because I was hurt by the actions of someone I loved dearly.  And I could not reconcile what he did with the person I believed him to be.  It was a form of hell that needed to be resolved as quickly as possible.  I had to find his innocence, I had to find a way to see beyond his actions to the person I truly loved.  I needed to find true forgiveness, which is unconditional love in practice.  Hating him was not going to make my life better, no matter how much other people tried to convince me it was necessary to feel that way.

Turned out it was not as easy as I hoped it would be.  It took a lot of inward reflection and soul-searching to come to a place, not of overlooking the offense, but to see no offense to begin with.  This was not something I knew how to do.  But the things I had been reading, specifically A Course in Miracles, had convinced me that it was absolutely necessary that I figure out how.

My counselor recommended a book called Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping.  She believed that I would greatly benefit from it and that it would help me move forward from the place I felt stuck.  The book gave me a perspective that freed me from the prison where my ego had me trapped.

I’m preparing to read it again because it’s been over a year since I read it and my entire way of looking at the world is different from what it was then.  I might be able get something different from it this time.

Driving is a mini-version of the dilemma I faced a little over a year ago.  It is difficulty reconciling people’s behavior with the loving, divine beings I know they are at the core.  If Radical Forgiveness could help me pull myself out of the pit of despair I was in over being deeply hurt by someone close to me, I have hope it can help relieve this spiritual malaise I’ve been feeling and help me see others in a way that feels good and contributes to the greater good of all.

To anyone who feels the need to forgive someone for something that seems impossible to overcome, I highly recommend Radical Forgiveness as well as A Course in Miracles as tools to help shift your perspective and see things differently to your, and ultimately everyone’s, advantage.

 

KarunaMettaCAT