I’ll try to keep this short. Can’t promise sweet, but I’ll do my best.
I have been using an online dating site again. It’s a free one and I reactivated my profile after taking a few months off.
There are very few on the site that I find attractive. I’ve read some great profiles and definitely found some people I could be friends with, but nobody has caught my eye in a romantic sense. Maybe I’m thinking it will be like the opera singer, I’ll look at a picture and see my future unfold in the person’s eyes. I’m pretty sure what happened there was a once in a lifetime kinda thing though. Nothing even close has happened to me before or since. At least not from a photo.
Browsing through the ads today I felt an annoyance that has been nagging at me for a few days. There are some really self-defeating profiles out there. I’m amazed at what I read sometimes. It makes me wonder if these people are even aware of themselves at all.
Now I’m just being snarky, but I have a little list of the things that turn me off most when I read them in an online personals profile (and my responses to them):
- “I have a child and they are: my everything, my entire world, my number one priority…” or any of the other descriptions that attempt to convince the reader this person is a GOOD dad. It’s ridiculous. We all feel that way about our kids. It goes without saying. And saying it just makes you sound like a dork. If someone wrote that their kids are amazing and fabulous and the coolest people they ever met, that I could respect. The other is trite.
- Young at heart. Just say it, you’re old or you feel old or you feel like other people think you’re old. You don’t see young people claiming to be old-at-heart. Just sayin’…
- Friends, maybe more later or Possible marriage and children… Eeeww. Why do you think you need to dangle that carrot? And what kind of woman is desperate enough to think that’s charming? From my experience, the guys who say this are pretty poor marriage material, but think because they are male they are sought after. Yuck.
- Lists of obscure or esoteric books, authors or musicians. Does anything scream Please think I’m cool worse than this? It’s icky. Everybody likes good literature and music, it’s just that everyone has a different definition of good. Leave it alone. Again, this makes you sound like a dork.
- Bragging about having a sarcastic sense of humor. Why is this something to be proud of? Sarcasm is the most useless, mean spirited form of humor that is sorely lacking in creativity and depth. Make people laugh without resorting to character assassination and I’ll think you’re pretty awesome.
- Being non-responsive when someone communicates with you. Seriously, get over yourself. Why are you even on this site to begin with? Take it as a compliment for crying out loud.
- Saying you’re open to friends when you really aren’t. This also applies to the previous point. Some of these guys are suffering from Hotness Delusion Syndrome–check it out, it’s a real issue.
- Hipsters–most people know my opinion about this.
- Burners–There are no words
This is really only an issue today because I’m in a grumpy mood. I’m being hard on myself for something I did and it’s ridiculous and I need to stop. When I’m mad at myself, the whole world suffers.
I’m just ready to meet someone nice and be excited to spend time with him. Even some new friends would be great, but I really want to just find someone beautiful and perfect and fall crazy in love.
I know he’s out there. And he’s looking for me too. And he’s wondering why people write such stupid things in their profiles and he’s wondering if there is anyone else on earth who gets it.