Right now…like the Van Halen song

Seems like it might never stop raining in Portland.  The news said we are 258% above average rainfall for this month.  That’s a lot, even for Oregon.  I’m so ready for some sunshine.  I think it would help my mood immensely.  I’m not in a bad mood, just a blah one.  Rain does that to me after a while because it just slows everything down in a weird way.

I feel pretty hopeful today.  I picked up a book by Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now, and started reading it again.  I remember liking it the first time around.  I also really enjoyed A New Earth, another very insightful book of his.

Reading The Power of Now helped me find my bearings a bit today.  Sometimes when I read something that really makes sense to me by someone whose logic I respect, it makes me feel better, like I’m heading in the right direction, like I’m thinking the right kinds of thoughts about the right kinds of things most of the time.

This book really stresses being in the present moment, possibly more than any book I have read.  And it does so in a wonderfully firm, no-nonsense way.  I have read many books by Thich Nhat Hanh where he makes the same points just as effectively, but in a very different, softer way.  So beautiful, but so different from Eckhart Tolle.

I am grateful for the ability to be aware most of the time.  I’ve been working at it for 6 years, but it’s been worth it.  To be present and aware is to be able to experience joy at any moment, just by choosing it.  When you exist unconsciously, living in the past or the future, you lose the true power of choice.  In my opinion, it’s not really possible to affect positive change in life without paying attention.  Things happen by default which can keep a person in a fairly constant state of reaction.  That’s why things seem so random sometimes.  But really, nothing ever happens for no reason.

Being in the now is the safest, most peaceful place a person can be.  The past is just the memory of now moments that we’ve already lived through successfully to get to this one.  And if we can fully embrace and appreciate the moment we are in right now, it will give birth to another glorious and perfect now.  We just have to let it happen without resisting.

Eckhart Tolle says if you find yourself struggling against your present life circumstances, you should either remove yourself from it, change it if you can, or learn to accept it for what it is.  Doing one of those things will put an end to suffering and produce peace.  This is the truth as I have experienced it.  As I have learned to accept things how they are, my life has gotten easier in ways.  At least I don’t punish myself constantly with worry anymore.  I know that worry never helps anything, so I find something else to do.  And whatever I find to do is always way more fun than worrying.  Go figure.

Recently life has begun to feel like an adventure I am on with the angels.  I know they will help me take care of things and when I can’t see the how of it, I just smile and wonder what beautiful miracle is on its way to me at this very moment.

I’m pretty sure I’m still going to have moments of doubt and suffering, but I know I possess the tools to move out of that pretty quickly.

So, I think the angels and my kids and I will see what we can make out of these now moments.  I think it’s going to be good.

“Right now, hey it’s your tomorrow. Right now, C’mon, it’s everything.” ~Van Halen

Sometimes I wonder

Today I was thinking:

I wonder how many people are  living a life that is so painful that the idea of taking responsibility for it feels like the thing that will put them over the edge.

I wonder how many people live each day wondering if they can endure any more disappointment or hardship.

I wonder how many people feel like they might give up if one more thing goes wrong.

I wonder how many people know that dwelling on misfortune only brings more misfortune and truly want to think better thoughts, but struggle because the reality of life is constantly intruding on their efforts to think positively.

I wonder how many people feel worthless and isolated because they are unable to meet society’s expectations, not of success, but of minimum standards.

I wonder how many people feel the weight of the world on their shoulders and simultaneously marvel at how homeless people keep going and yet envy them for having only to concern themselves with their own physical survival.

I wonder how many people feel like the world would be better off without them, but know that would only add another burden on the people they love.

I wonder how many people there are who think they must be cursed or so fatally flawed that they will die alone and destitute.

I wonder how many people feel like nobody has ever loved them and nobody ever will and that somehow they deserve that.

I wonder how many people look around them and see people caring about their own material success, not their fellow humans, until a disaster happens and it is suddenly cool and trendy to appear to care for the briefest of moments before returning to pursuit of material things.

I wonder how many people wake up exhausted at the idea of another day in this world.

To these people I wish to say:

Hang on.  Don’t give up.  You are not alone.  We are all in this together and we only need to find one other person who understands and cares.  It might not be the people you think it will be because sometimes at our darkest moments, everyone we thought would care disappears.  It’s okay.  Keep looking.  Because as bad as life sometimes feels, YOU may be the light that gives someone else the strength to get through another day.  And it may be as simple as an understanding and heartfelt smile.

Today you might smile and open a door for a person who is at the end of their rope and in so doing, open the door to hope and the will to survive.

Let us be gentle with one another.  This is a tough planet to live on sometimes.  We all need all the love and compassion we can find.

Metta Sutta:

This is what should be done
By one who is skilled in goodness,
And who knows the path of peace:
Let them be able and upright,
Straightforward and gentle in speech.
Humble and not conceited,
Contented and easily satisfied.
Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways.
Peaceful and calm, and wise and skillful,
Not proud and demanding in nature.
Let them not do the slightest thing
That the wise would later reprove.
Wishing: In gladness and in saftey,
May all beings be at ease.
Whatever living beings there may be;
Whether they are weak or strong, omitting none,
The great or the mighty, medium, short or small,
The seen and the unseen,
Those living near and far away,
Those born and to-be-born,
May all beings be at ease!
Let none deceive another,
Or despise any being in any state.
Let none through anger or ill-will
Wish harm upon another.
Even as a mother protects with her life
Her child, her only child,
So with a boundless heart
Should one cherish all living beings:
Radiating kindness over the entire world
Spreading upwards to the skies,
And downwards to the depths;
Outwards and unbounded,
Freed from hatred and ill-will.
Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down
Free from drowsiness,
One should sustain this recollection.
This is said to be the sublime abiding.
By not holding to fixed views,
The pure-hearted one, having clarity of vision,
Being freed from all sense desires,
Is not born again into this world.