Last night I wrote a post about faith and willingness. This morning I feel like I need to follow that up and explain a little about how faith works in my life.
I am not one of those people who goes through life with rock solid faith. Faith for me is a process that must be worked at constantly. Because of the way it works in my life, I have always been curious about those people who seem to be able to exercise their faith unwaveringly in the darkest moments. I am not sure if those people actually have the same kinds of struggles and doubts that I and many other people seem to experience. If they do, they sure aren’t telling anyone.
There’s no right or wrong way to have faith. And maybe the difference between me and people whose faith seems so readily available to them is one of organization. Maybe it’s like the person with the neat and tidy desk who, when asked for something, finds it effortlessly in their beautiful and pristine workspace. My faith is under one of the many piles of very important stuff on my spiritual desk. It’s there and I can find it, it’s just gonna take me a minute…and it might have a coffee cup ring on it
Those who know me know I aspire to be a spiritual guru of sorts. Not because I think I have all the answers. Each person has the answers to their own questions, I just want to help people look. Kinda like when you lose your car keys. I want to be the person who reminds you to look in the pocket of the pants you wore yesterday, not the one who points out that if you had a better system and were more organized you wouldn’t have these issues. I’m not sure where in the world of spiritual gurus there is room for one such as me, but I hope to find my place.
Perhaps someday I will be one of those people who never seems to struggle and can use my spiritual tools proactively to create a beautiful stress-free life for myself and my family. Until then, I’ll be writing about my miracles as I recognize them, often in retrospect, and looking for my faith…the way I look for my glasses when I am already wearing them.