How to stay sane

I decided that if I were to build a time machine, it would look like this:

I am certain a vehicle such as this could take me anywhere I want to go in the universe.

I’m also pretty sure I’ve time traveled in the bath.

Two things happen in the bath. I am able to quiet my mind and the thoughts I do have are creative, not destructive.

The bath is my favorite place on earth.

I take frequent baths. Several times a week. It helps my joints stay flexible and pain-free, and it helps my mind stay that way too.

Baths help me maintain a sense of equanimity. It’s a place where I can let everything that concerns me float away. Astrologically, I’m a water sign, so it makes sense that I’m happiest when I’m submerged. I feel truly protected in the water.

Consider this bath:

• Add 1 lb. each of sea salt and baking soda
• Place clear quartz crystals that have been cleansed and activated around the edge of the tub
• Bless the water with love and gratitude
• Allow yourself to think or not think as mood dictates
• Request the company of angels (if you are so inclined)

What this bath will do is remove negative energy picked up during the course of one’s day and I can guarantee, it will make you feel like a brand new person when you get out, whether you are in for 10 minutes or an hour.

My relationship with water is special. I find that I tend to meditate in the shower and pray in the bath. I think it’s because I shower in the morning before work and I bathe at night before bed. Both of these rituals are important and contribute greatly to my spiritual life and my ability to stay sane in this chaotic world.

Time does not have to exist in the bath. This is why you can go wherever your mind will take you while you’re in there.

Another year

It will be my birthday in 90 minutes. I haven’t thought about it very much because I had so much other stuff on my mind. Not having a job in this economy will do that to a person. I was actually hired about 3 weeks ago for a job, but haven’t been able to get started because they are waiting for the results of my background check to come back and I do not know what is taking so long.

A friend of mine offered to let me come and work for him for a little while so I could earn enough money to pay my rent. I am so grateful for this I hardly have words.

The past couple of weeks have been amazing. Every time I feel like I don’t have a shred of faith left in me, I ask for help from God, the angels, the saints, and ascended masters, and every time I ask, something happens to give me enough hope to go on. How many guarantees do any of us actually need? It’s great to feel like things will be fine long-term, but don’t we really live day-by-day, moment-by-moment?

Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” –Matthew 6:33-34

A couple of weeks ago, I said a prayer to St. Jude, the patron of desperate causes. I’m not Catholic, but I didn’t care, I was so afraid and so worried that I needed to feel there was someone who cared. As a show of faith, I decided to make a donation to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. I need to point out that even though my donation was small, I have almost no money right now, so it was a big deal to me. I wanted the universe to know that I trust I will be cared for just as I care for others, as unselfishly as possible. Later that same night, a trusted friend offered to give me a significant amount of money. Enough to relieve some of the pressure I was feeling, and thirty times the amount of my donation. I accepted with the caveat that I be allowed to repay it when things improve for me.

Between the loan and a few days of paid employment, I can see the light at the end of this tunnel I have been in. I am very grateful that in the darkest of times I have the presence of mind and heart to ask for help. And I am grateful that the help always comes. I’m not always brave enough to ask other people for help, but I am brave enough to ask God for help. Then God brings angels, dressed as friends.

It looks like everything is going to be okay. I feel so much genuine gratitude for the abundance of having the basic necessities of life. Everything else is icing.

In one hour it will be my birthday.

Seek first

Today I am praying for God to protect the people of the east coast of the United States. I have friends there and I give thanks for their continued safety during the hurricane.

Melancholy pervades my existence these days. I feel very much alone and adrift. And I’m being what I wish was realistic with myself, but is probably more like harsh and judgmental.

My life looks nothing like I thought it would at this point and there are times when I cannot help but feel a profound sense of disappointment in myself. I have accomplished more than I ever dreamed of in some areas, but there are things that I thought would fall into place that haven’t and most of the major areas of my life have been affected.

All of this started about 5 years ago, but things really fell apart a couple of years ago. And while I feel like I have made important progress, it feels like there is still so much left to do to clean up the aftermath of the hurricane of events that blew through my life, leveling everything I had been building for years. Everything I thought was important was lost. My relationship with my family, my best friend, the job I loved, and any sense of financial security I may have had. All gone, all about the same time, early 2009.

Every once in a while I look at my life and can’t see the sense in it. Those are the moments it is most painful to be me. I have been experiencing many of those the past few days.

Much of what I have been going through this week likely results from being tired. I’ve been staying up way too late and going to work on very few hours of sleep. When I try to function in this way, every area of my life suffers, most notably my perspective.

When I look at my life, I am not at the top of my professional success. I do not believe it is impossible for me to be again, but I still have to figure out exactly what that means to me.

What has all the pain and struggle gotten me? A heart of pure compassionate gold. What some consider life’s greatest treasure. Sometimes it is hard to appreciate the gifts of the spirit when I am busy using them.

I may not have achieved perfect professional or financial success, but how much does that really define who I am or why I am here?

What do I have that I can share with people? Goodness. My heart.

I am one of those people who spends a good deal of time praying for other people. I pray constantly, all day every day. I use the majority of my time and energy blessing people and making divine requests on behalf of those in need of grace. I wish for all beings to have peace and wellness.

People who know me ask me to pray for them when they are facing challenges. Many of my friends have expressed a high level of confidence in the effectiveness of my thoughts and prayers. It seems as if I am regarded as one who is close to God. And in my truest and best moments I am. I have been close to God my entire life though I have understood the concept many different ways over the years. When I put together all of the ideas I have had about God in my entire life, it forms a beautiful mosaic of thought. The very few conclusions I have come to have produced a kind and gentle nature that I will never live to regret.

I have worked at this relationship and it has produced great things.

³² For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. ³³ But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.³⁴ “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. –Matthew 6:32-34 (New American Standard Bible)

If this passage from the Bible is true, all I have to do is stay focused on everything that is good, right, just and loving. Everything else will fall into place on its own. There are moments when I know this as surely as I know anything. Other times I have to remind myself, hence blog posts such as this one.

Wishing for angel protection for those in the path of the hurricane, literally or symbolically.

Love

This is my 100th post on this blog. It’s been an incredible experience from which I have benefited greatly.

For this 100th post I thought it would be good to revisit the entire reason for the existence of this blog: To spread the message that unconditional love is the greatest force in the universe and creates a direct connection to the Divine.

This morning I read and shared some mystical love quotes and poetry. Mostly by Hafiz and Rumi, two of my favorite thinkers. It led me to think about love and how when we love truly from that holy place in our hearts, the veil between this world and spirit world becomes very thin. Seeing the interconnectedness of all things is beautiful.

Romantic love is a big part of life. Whatever it is that strongly attracts two people, from my experience it’s like looking into the face of God when I find a person who is a perfect mirror. The experiences I’ve had being in love and even having crushes, have been the most joyous experiences of my life. It’s a total celebration of the beauty of a person. The feeling is intoxicating.

The way to have a steady stream of the good feelings love produces is to bless everyone you see or encounter in your daily life. Walking down the street, smile at every person you pass. Nearly without exception, people will smile back. See what you started with one little smile?

Cultivating a happy, carefree attitude that recognizes the truth of impermanence helps one understand the power of the present moment. Now is when we can make a difference in someone’s life. Every moment is an opportunity to bless. I would love to see all people, myself included, seize those opportunities as often as possible and fill the universe with love.

As my awareness increases, I have the power to choose more of the time. Choosing love more often gives others permission to do likewise. In freeing ourselves we open the prison doors for everyone we meet. Doesn’t mean everyone will choose freedom right away, it can be hard for people to leave the comfort of the hell they have created for themselves. But those with the courage to see things from a different perspective will have a big impact on the world.

Take a chance, let the love inside you spill out onto the world.

“Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.” ~Goethe

Truly.

When the going gets really tough

So I have a job interview this week.  I really want to go back to work.  I’ve worked since I was a teenager and these periods of unemployment in the past couple of years have been hard.  The big question I am trying to answer without freaking out is: Will this job manifest in time?

I have been doing this for the past couple of months.  Barely a reprieve from worry and yet miracles have been happening pretty consistently.  It’s funny I can see that in retrospect and even sometimes as the miracles are happening, but not when they are on their way.  When I am in waiting mode it feels like nothing will ever get better.

Lately I have been watching more news than I normally do.  I’m feeling ill at ease and sort of helpless, which probably means I shouldn’t be watching the news.  I took a break from most news for a couple of years and I think it was a good decision.  It’s not like I completely trust any news source anyway.

The thing that has me feeling weird lately is the reaction to Osama Bin Laden’s violent demise.  I’m not saying that at this time in history we are not better off without him, it’s just that celebrating a violent murder, even of someone who deserves it, makes me uncomfortable.  I hope to make it clear that I am not condemning anyone for celebrating or saying that those who have suffered from Bin Laden’s actions are not justified in feeling relief.  Celebrating violence  just isn’t my thing.  I remember when people in some parts of the world were celebrating after the 9/11 attacks and that was really upsetting.

With our economy in the state it’s in, I would hope for people to take to the streets in favor of some relief from this oppressive poverty so many of us are struggling with rather than with misguided national pride.  It’s not like most of us did anything to deserve the conditions we find ourselves in, there was a carefully crafted financial coup d’etat (to use the words of Michael Moore) that put us where we are.  And the really creepy thing is that some of the very people who orchestrated the collapse of our economy are now blaming poor people for the current economic situation.

I want to clarify calling what we’re in a recession.  This is a depression, not a recession.  Economists who say otherwise are splitting hairs.  And it stands to get worse between the rising gas prices and the natural disasters destroying crops all over the place.  These are the same kinds of conditions that took place in the 1930′s during the great depression.  For some reason, we’re just better at denying it now and many Americans do not have the reasoning power to see through the charade to recognize how they’ve been duped.

Many of these things I have been saying for a long time to people I know well enough to speak frankly with.  There is something sinister going on with corporations and their control of the media and the political process in this country.  There is a reason certain diseases are becoming so prevalent and why others are not being cured as quickly as they should.  Anyone who watches television is bombarded with messages telling them how sick they are and how all the drugs they have been taking for these illnesses are surely not working so they should add new ones.  It’s pretty disgusting.  And that’s just the tip of the iceberg of what I’m talking about.

Sometimes it makes me nervous to watch television because even though I have a fairly high level of awareness and control over my mind, it can’t be good to have those intentions coming at me and my kids.  We are healthy and I mean to keep it that way.

This has turned into a rant.  I’m not sure if that’s a good thing, but it’s how I’ve been feeling lately.  I don’t insist I’m right about any of this, lest I offend anyone, but I have frustrations and I would like to see some of these things improve.  John Lennon once said: Today America is the Roman Empire and New York is Rome itself.  True enough, but that might not be a good thing.  Just sayin’…

One of the things I have been wanting to write more about is how challenging it can be to live in this world after a spiritual awakening.  It’s something I have seen a few people write about in blogs, but there isn’t a whole lot of information out there that addresses this.  When a person awakens and recognizes the truth of unity, it makes it impossible to live life as it was lived before that realization.

There’s more to it than that (full post forthcoming), but the shift in perspective is one that can rock the foundation of one’s beliefs and after that it takes a while to figure things out.  There was a time when it was much easier for me to hate and blame others.  Now I realize the futility of that.  But at the same time, like the above rant I just wrote, sometimes the truth needs to be expressed, even when it’s ugly.

No matter what we choose to do, whether we choose to watch news or not, blame or not blame, whatever, it needs to be done with love.  It’s the only way things will ever improve in a lasting way.  As I often say: we are all in this together.  The golden rule is not just good manners, it is our salvation.  Do what ya gotta do, but do it in love.  Love will never steer you wrong.  At least real love won’t.

Saint Augustine said:

“Once for all, then, a short precept is given thee: Love, and do what thou wilt: whether thou hold thy peace, through love hold thy peace; whether thou cry out, through love cry out; whether thou correct, through love correct; whether thou spare, through love do thou spare: let the root of love be within, of this root can nothing spring but what is good.”