Once again I find myself needing to post something just to keep my commitment to posting. It’s not that there’s nothing going on, it’s that I haven’t been taking much time to think about things. I’ve been distracting myself instead. Thankfully the holidays create distraction.
I’ve chosen distraction because, in my opinion, it is preferable to dwelling on things I have no control over. If I indulge too much in that activity, I quickly start spinning my wheels. To allow my mind to obsess over something that belongs in the hands of God, is a waste of my energy. There are a lot of other things in my life that deserve my attention more than the things I don’t like, those things I wish to surrender to the universe.
There is a glimmer of hope in my romantic life. Not with regard to one specific person, the whole process just feels better now. I’ve connected with a few nice guys, gone out a few times with a couple of them, and it’s been okay. No disasters, not even in the comic sense. I haven’t found one yet that I’d be interested in having a relationship with, but it’s okay that it’s taking some time. I want it to be right when it happens. I am going out next week with a guy who has so many quirky things in common with me that the prospect of meeting him makes me feel happy. He’s also very good-looking. That makes me happy…for obvious reasons. Hopefully he’s also a good person. I guess we’ll find out.
I’m hoping for small, manageable changes in my life. Just a little forward movement in the dating world, and maybe a bit more than that in the career world. I’m sorta playing life like a very important chess game right now. Slow and deliberate. Ya know?
For the past couple of weeks I have abandoned almost every comforting ritual in my life. I pray, but not nearly as often as I have at times; I haven’t been meditating often enough; I have stopped reading and writing. I’m never sure why I do this when life feels stressful, but that’s what happens. I’ve taken the giant step of forgiving myself for it. I have finally stopped adding guilt to everything I do or fail to do. It makes the difficult times go by more smoothly.
Tonight I will spend some time returning to my best beliefs–blessing all creatures, entertaining lovely thoughts, and restoring that heart connection with all that is good and right.
What a blessing it is for all of us that the Source is always available when we wish to tap into it.