I’m feeling pretty thankful tonight. Something has finally shifted in my romantic life. Not a huge shift, but there is movement and that is progress I haven’t felt in a while.
Just over 2 years ago my heart was broken by a person I had spent 3.5 years of my life with in the closest, most intimate relationship I had ever been in. I was left wondering and still wonder at times what happened. He has never explained and has never spoken to me again despite my attempts to find closure so I could move on with my life.
Before I even had a chance to get over that one I met someone I felt like I had spent many lifetimes with and though our relationship remained platonic, I found myself in love with this person. It’s been a year since I last saw him and he also left me with a lot of questions about what happened and why he disappeared so suddenly.
These two relationships destroyed my self-confidence and I have spent most of the last two years trying to feel okay again.
The shift started at the new job. There is a guy there who is nerdy and adorable and I like him. Doesn’t matter if anything ever comes of it, the fact that I have a little crush is huge for me. It just doesn’t happen that often. I don’t connect with people that easily, but I definitely feel an attraction to this cute guy at my job. This makes me so happy.
I don’t know if finding someone cute opened my mind to possibilities, but just today I was contacted by three cute guys over the online dating site. One of them is more than just cute, he’s gorgeous…14 years younger than me…and I don’t even care! Normally I would rule him out immediately because of his age, but when I saw his pictures my age cut off went straight out the window.
I feel so happy and grateful that this area of my life is moving again. I have felt stuck for so long and I started to worry that I was going to spend the rest of my life pining over my friend. I miss him, but now I know I can move on. I’m so relieved I can’t even adequately express it.
Life feels a little sparkly and magical right now. I plan to enjoy this fully.