I have been reading about my sun sign, Scorpio, recently and shaking my head (lovingly) at myself. The days in which I feel like a total weirdo, it helps to think there are others who possess some of the very characteristics that make me feel like an alien on this planet.
A website I read earlier said something to the effect that Scorpios know things that cannot be expressed in human language. That describes quite accurately the way I feel sometimes. As far back as I can remember I have known things without being able to articulate how I know. I understand people’s motives and I know exactly what’s going on around me all the time, down to the nuances of human intentions and motives. I may not let on that I know, I often don’t, but I know precisely what drives people. Individual people, not just in general.
That may also be why some of the most private people start telling me things that they don’t usually share with anyone. They sense that I get it…because I do.
Being a Scorpio, I’m not one to shy away from the dark and ugly parts of the human psyche. Sometimes I wonder if even other Scorpios are afraid of me or think I’m weird.
One of the most unusual and bothersome things I have figured out in the past few years by means of this ability to intuit motive is that I have had people in my life whom I have called friends who seem to like me best when I am having a hard time. I’d like to say that this hasn’t affected my behavior, but I’m certain it has or did until I was aware enough to see the pattern emerge.
Some people like to think of me as helpless, but I’m not. When I’m struggling, I’m pretty open about it, but I do not intend to struggle just so others can feel heroic or take on the role of adviser. There are many things I still want to accomplish in life. I need all my energy and dealing with this dynamic saps it.
Most of the people I am referring to are no longer a part of my day-to-day life. These are not people who have helped me out of kindness, they are people who cannot seem to tolerate me unless I am in a position that makes them feel superior in some way. I appreciate kindness, co-dependence, not so much.
It is a rare person who can handle me at full strength for any length of time. I get that. This may be part of the problem. I have a lot of energy. A lot. It intimidates people at times and ensures I do not go through life unnoticed. That can be a definite plus, but it isn’t always.
This intuition (which can be a pain at times) seems to be common among Scorpios. As weird as I sometimes feel, I wouldn’t want to be any other sign…which seems like a thing only a Scorpio would say.
My life might be an amusement park ride, but it’s definitely entertaining.