Recently I was asked how I stay positive. I actually wrote an entire post about the things I do that help me stay positive, but I realized that none of it actually matters on the days I let fear rule my life.
This morning I woke up to an anxiety attack. That happens to me sometimes. Before I even really have a chance to think, my heart and mind are racing. It is now mid-afternoon and I’m finally starting to calm down.
It’s sometimes hard to take the steps necessary to stay positive when I’m not even sure what the problem is. I mean, on the surface it’s obvious. My kids are now living with me and I do not have a job. Three weeks ago I was supporting only myself and didn’t know how I was going to make it without a job and now I have two more people depending on me.
This morning I woke up in a panic about how to pay the rent next month. All day I have had to talk myself out of this mindset. There are still 21 days left in this month. If I can find even a temp job right away I should be able to earn enough to cover our rent and basic expenses. But I don’t have a job right now, so the only way I can avoid worrying is to have faith that everything will happen as it is supposed to and that we will be fine. While I know deep down it is true, much like meditation I have to keep bringing my mind back to the truth.
As I was telling my kids today, worrying about something that might happen in 21 days is a waste of energy. Because if the first of next month comes and I don’t have the money to pay the rent, worrying about it now just means I have given myself three extra weeks of worry. If the first comes and I do have the money to pay rent then I will have worried for nothing.
I just need to stay in the present where everything is fine. Right now, our bills are paid and we have plenty of everything we need. I have no reason to believe tomorrow will be different. A lot can happen in one day. I have sent my resume off to some promising job leads and to some temp agencies, something good is bound to come sooner or later, hopefully sooner.
As for staying positive, I do a lot of things to keep myself optimistic in the face of uncertainty. One of the biggest is surrounding myself with people who are positive and avoiding people who are not. Twitter has been one of the most amazing gifts that way. The people I follow on Twitter are such bright lights. They have helped me keep my head up by posting positive, uplifting tweets. My Twitter family has helped me through some dark moments recently. I have been inspired to be a better person and to keep trying to contribute positively. I feel very fortunate to have found all these wonderful people from all over the world.
If I had to name one thing that helps me stay positive no matter what is going on around me, it would be gratitude. If I’m alive and breathing, there is hope and something to be grateful for. And for the ability to recognize that, I am supremely grateful.
Grateful thanks for all the good wishes I have received.